Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Choices

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 
I am glad that when I asked my students (11-13 yrs old) to rate what they feel indicates success, most of them chose being happy and enjoying life at the top of their list, and placed making money at the bottom. Idealists? Yeah. Randall says they are young. They don't know yet. But I feel that they've got it right. Their young not-quite-adults-yet minds got it right. Well, as long as you have enough money that you can feel happy. 

From the beginning of my job, I've been contemplating quitting. Why? Because this job has turned me into a teacher I do not like, and I find my self thinking that if this is what being a kindergarten teacher is like, I don't want to be a kindergarten teacher anymore. I keep thinking of the opportunities that I did not take. Julia Gabriel, Waldorf, TweedleWink Playschool, Montessori... And I keep trying to convince myself to stay. For the sake of the children. And then another offer comes and it definitely would be better for me, but would it be selfish and irresponsible for me to quit? How much impact would my quitting be for my students? Will they find it easy to adjust to a new teacher? I don't know what to do now...