Reflections of 2018

2018 has been the most interesting year of my life.

1. Started the year with my first non-family housemate - Annabelle
2. Farewells: hubby left for Melb in Feb
3. Packed up my apartment, for the most part, by myself.
4. Rented out our apartment.
5. Moved home with my family.
6. Completed first draft of my children's book.
7. Final block of play therapy class.
8. Farewells
9. Packing & Prep
10. Melbourne!!!
11. Submitted final portfolio for play therapy cert.
12. Started work at Guardian Early Learning.
13. Moved to DiPalmas' place for 12 days.
14. Moved to Preston with housemates!
15. Joined book clubs.
16. Started work at Explorers.
17. Back to Malaysia for weddings!
18. In-laws visited. Stayed in South Yarra for 3 weeks.

Recently, there has been a wave of #10yearchallenge.

10 years ago, I started my diploma in early childhood education and worked at an early childhood centre.

10 years later, I am also doing a diploma in early childhood education (in order to work in Australia) and am working at an early childhood centre.

I have been in the early childhood industry for 10 years.

In between, I have worked in 10 centres.

(Not that I worked in each centre for one year. I've always worked multiple jobs.)

In between, I:

1. Taught Mandarin
2. Taught English to students up to 19 years old
3. Taught babies as young as 3 months old
4. Had the job title "playologist" (Best job title ever)
5. Became a curriculum specialist
6. Was offered the position of curriculum mentor
7. Ran a preschool from designing the curriculum to handling the finances
8. Trained to be a play therapist
9. Completed 128 hours of clinical play therapy work
10. Worked in Australian childcare centres

Right now, I am back to where I started. I love my job. I love being with kids. I love what I do. Sometimes it's stressful. Sometimes the management is terrible. There's never going to be a perfect centre. But I honestly genuinely truly madly deeply love what I do.

After taking a year break from play therapy work, I am going to resume clinical work here.

It's going to be an interesting 2019.

2017

My 2017:

1. Set up play therapy placement

2. Extracted my wisdom tooth

3. Paid off PTPTN loan with my EPF

4. Began homeschooling Little A

5. Threw a surprise birthday party for R

6. Resumed regular yoga

7. Completed play therapy cert classes
8. Decided to move to Aussie next year
9. Getaway to Bukit Tinggi
10. Commenced play therapy diploma classes
11. Budgeted + lots of home cooked meals
12. Getaway to Tadom Hills with the girls
13. Set up 2nd play therapy placement
14. Completed 100 hours of clinical work
15. Did lots of art & calligraphy
16. Ama passed away :-( 

17. Getaway to Bali

A year of balance between time for self-care, work and play.

A year of unanswered questions and self-discovery. 

A year of planning and hoping and anticipating and uncertainty. 

A struggle between being productive and having time for myself. 

Here's to an adventurous 2018! 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness seems to be the opposite of productivity. I like to multitask. I like to be productive. Maybe that's why the idea never resonated much with me. When I read How to Train a Wild Elephant & Other Adventures in Mindfulness by Jan Chozen Bays and tried to start some of of the exercises, I couldn't even get through the first week. I have not even finished the book yet. (So unlike me.) 

When I started my clinical work as a trainee play therapist, I realised that I am not in control of my mind. I look but I do not see. My mind wanders away. Far far away. I started meditating more frequently. I even did it daily at a point in time. Why did I stop doing it so frequently? Hmm, I guess I was actually kinda demotivated when despite my daily practice, my mind still wandered. Anyways, I do it weekly. Sometimes.

I can't recall where I read it, but Gretchen Rubin says, "it is better to do something every day, than to do it some days. For a few weeks, I have started incorporating 3 daily habits: exercise, brain training games and read. I thought 3 would be a nice place to start. I realised that once I started this, I am way more energetic. More disciplined. 

So, I decided to try out the mindfulness exercise: leave no trace. Basically, when you use a room, you tidy up when you leave, as though you were not there to begin with. I had a bad habit of dumping dirty dishes into the sink and letting them pile up, so I wanted to start here. It was tough, especially when I wanted to go right to bed after dinner and a movie. I made myself wash up. And guess what? I felt a sense of accomplishment and it felt good! I felt satisfied the next day, too, when I walked into the kitchen to see it all clean. It's tough when I'm pressed for time, but I think that this is definitely a habit I would like to maintain! 

Next, I decided to tackle my next bad habit, glancing at my phone at every red light! Why did I feel a need to do that? Am I so impatient? The exercise: focus on breathing when waiting. Waiting for the lift. Waiting for the traffic light. Focusing on the breath can help me feel more centred. 

This is the beginning of my journey towards being more mindful. 

"Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing." - Jon Kabat-Zinn

Currently

I am currently

READING all about Play Therapy! Melanie Klein, Carl Jung, Laban. I love learning new things.
WATCHING Life in Pieces! Super funny sitcom.
LISTENING to the soundtrack of La La Land. Can't get enough of it.
FEELING a little under the weather today. Just had wisdom tooth removed.
LOVING life

A quarter of a century

2016 was...interesting. I turned 25, which was a milestone? In some ways. Hence I shall list 25 things that happened in 2016!

1. Left Odyssey. When I leave, I leave a piece of my heart with the kids.
2. Stayed at Fraser's Hill for Valentines Day - and ran away from the CNY hot weather.
3. Went back to Tweedlewink Playhouse where we worked crazy hard and put in crazy hours and practically ran the whole place.
4. Hm things didn't quite work out in Playhouse so we left Playhouse. (Long and complicated story) Left another piece of my heart there.
5. At crossroads again...what am I to do next? Options options...
6. Decided to continue my studies! Pursuing Play Therapy.
7. Went to Melbourne. Experienced snow for the first time. Fell in love with Melbourne. Left a piece of my heart in Melbourne.
8. Took a break from work.
9. Wrote articles for The Sun.
10. Binged on TV series - Parks & Rec and Downton Abbey
11. Asked to go back to Odyssey. Bittersweet experience.
12. Started Play Therapy course. Learned so much!! So excited to embark on this new journey.
13. Spent a lot buying toys for my practice.
14. Turned 25!
15. Roller coaster journey in Odyssey.
16. Celebrated our 2-year anniversary back in Mines.
17. Ended the odyssey in Odyssey. Leaving another piece of my heart.
18. Year end holiday in Kuching. Loved loved loved the beautiful suite we stayed in.
19. Year end holiday in Singapore! Had a great time with great friends.
20. Spent too much on holidays.
21. Decided to try to apply to migrate to Aussie.
22. Decided to focus on studies in 2017 while working part time.
23. Happy to end a crazy year.
24. Looking forward to beginning a new year.
25. Counted down in a cafe with the whole place just staring at us.

May 2017 be a better year!!

Reflections of 2015

This yearly reflection thing is becoming a tradition. And sort of the sole purpose of my blog! I only posted like, twice this year? Oh well, I guess I'd been busy with other things.

In a nutshell, I would say that 2015 was a honeymoon year for me. Not just in terms of my marriage, but in other aspects of life, too.

My first year of marriage was blissful. It is everything I hoped for and more. My only wish is that it will continue to be this way and only get better with every passing year. I am blessed with an incredibly kind and understanding life partner who understands me better than myself.

I started going for yoga classes and I have pushed myself to do more than I've ever done before. It has helped me feel healthier both physically and mentally. I think I have also grown taller by doing yoga! Either that, or my sister measured wrongly. I prefer the former. I credit my weight gain to yoga, too. You know, exercise means you gain muscles, and muscles are heavier than fats. Or maybe I'm living in denial and I have gained weight because my husband constantly buys me suppers......

My work had its ups and downs, but I am trying my best to focus on the ups. I have learned a lot from this current school and have been blessed with amazing children to love and to be loved by. Also, because of the abundant school holidays, I had plenty of time to rest and recharge.

Upcoming in 2016, I have been incredibly blessed with the challenge of running my own center. I am so excited to embark on this journey and I do believe the timing is right. I am ready!

Fulfilling Holidays

One of my resolutions for 2015 is to work on my work-life balance, as I was clearly overworked at my previous workplace. I'm glad to say that I have achieved it - I am at a point where I am satisfied: neither overworking nor under-working. I finish work at 3.30 and I have school holidays. Ah, life is good!

I was listening to the Happiness Project (I got the audiobook) Inspired to start my own mini happiness project, I started my two week break coming up with a super long list of things I want to do over the holidays. I didn't plan any trips because well, no one else was on holiday together with me.

There were days where I gave in to my guilty pleasures - waking up without alarm, lazing in bed, browsing the internet, reading and going back to sleep. I stayed in my cave all day. I had plenty of Me Time. But I like to be productive. That's why I like to keep track of what I have accomplished.

1. Nurturing my Creative Side

I'd just finished listening to "A Whole New Mind" by Daniel Pink (also an audiobook) One of the right brain sense is creative design. My sister was learning watercolour and she taught me some basics and I watched some tutorials on youtube. I got the gist of it and just tried - after all there's no right or wrong. Creating something beautiful is so addictive. I just kept painting, losing track of time.

 I like doodling, too. So, I wanted to try honing my skills and googled "how to draw caricatures" This was just a mini project and I still need lots of practice!

As I was also designing the Sunday School banner, I decided to do some research on graphic designing. I'm just an amateur, but mainly I want to give it a clean and simple look, staying away from anything tacky.

2. Reading

I finished two books which have been by my bed for a long time - Chicken Soup for the Soul Love Stories and Say You're One of Them. I've been a fan of chicken soups since a young girl and I always find the stories heartwarming. Say You're One of Them is a series of short stories set in different African countries by Uwem Akpan. Some of the stories were good, whereas some made me fall asleep.

I started reading Parent-Babble - How Parents Can Recover from Fifty Years of Bad Expert Advice. I couldn't stop complaining about the book and decided to just stop reading it. This book review reflects how I feel about the book.

He is saying that parents should "parent" the way they were parented in the 60s because back in those days, his own schoolmates didn't commit suicide, abuse alcohol or drugs or have emotional problems. Um, based on what research - his own memories??

In the book, he says that in those days, if a kid breaks a neighbour's window, he'd have to pay for it and be punished. Then, he'd never do it again. But these days, they will be wondering does the child have emotional conflict? Is it because the neighbour looks like the father who abandoned him? Send him for therapy. The child does not have to face any consequence.
\
I believe that in order to solve the problem, it is important to understand the cause of the misbehaviour. Treat the disease, not the symptom. Having said that, it doesn't mean that the child doesn't have to face any consequences! Can't the child be sent to therapy (If necessary) AND do extra chores to earn money to pay the neighbour?

No doubt that some parents take "I want to give my child self esteem" too far and end up having arrogant children who think that they've accomplished much even though they haven't. I recommend a better book: Parents Who Love Too Much by Jane Nelsen and Cheryl Erwin.

But I digress. Back to books I'm reading - John C. Maxwell's Winning with People. I'm studying how to improve my people skills to become a better leader.

I also finished The Orchid House. Ah, the feeling of getting lost in a good book, hours passing by unnoticed, such guilty pleasure.

3. Household

Spring cleaning is my archenemy. It took me forever to clean up the house and I haven't even finished. I cleaned every room except one - the STOR-DY (store+study). I dumped everything that couldn't be de-cluttered into the stordy and I am ignoring the stacks of paper and documents in there. I think I'll deal with those the next break! At least my living space is clutter free-ish.

I made beef stew. My shopping experience: I'm at the supermarket, looking for bay leaves. Hmm, the labels are all in Malay, which one is bay leaves...Google translate bay leaves to Bahasa. Oh, it's daun salam. Same thing for the part of beef I wanted.

Yummylicious beef stew

I became super housewife and made chicken stock and froze a HUGE batch of it for future use. Then, I cooked a huge batch of my favourite spinach spaghetti sauce for dinner and also to freeze for the future when I'm super busy. I also cooked ratatouille for dinner. Like, a lot of it 

I paid and organized and filed up ALL the bills, which I had been putting off for ages.  

4. Friends

We hosted some guests and I met up with Tracy after yoga and Boon Chin to sort of help with her wedding. Then we had dinner together. Choir practice also took up some time and I kinda enjoy it. It's fun to sing. 

7 more days till I go back to school! I want to live to the fullest and make the most of my days. 

Reflections

2014 has been a roller coaster.

My health went downhill as I got frequent abdomen pains. (Which is bad because I'm the type who rarely falls sick). Initially thought was just due to bad digestion and started taking probiotics, but the pain continued on. After being misdiagnosed a few times (cyst, gastric), I finally got diagnosed - appendicitis (No, I did not run after my meal). It was pretty scary as my appendix had ruptured and the doctor said "it could be messy". I woke up in the middle of the night before the surgery shivering, scared and cold, and my comfort was in God. I prayed and prayed, and the hymn "Still" was repeating in my mind. Hide me now, under your wings. Cover me, within your mighty hands. When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you in clouds above. Father You are King over the flood, I will be still and know you are God. With God's blessings the surgery went well and everything is OK! I am very thankful to my family, husband (then fiance) and friends for being by my side. It was a great chance to rest and recuperate at home. 

MY WEDDING! I officially married my childhood sweetheart after 9 years of dating. The wedding went on smoothly despite some hiccups. The greatest challenge for me while preparing the wedding was to brainwash myself to accept it if things do not go as planned. I had some stressed mild-bridezilla moments (I like to think that I was all calm and zen but I'll admit, there were certain times I bridezilla-ed, just mildly). It did rain in the end (oh well, it was a 50-50 chance). Thankfully, everything fell into place. I'm very glad that we did not have to spend a bomb on the wedding. After all, it's just a one day event. 

Oh and also, we moved into our first home! It's so warm and cosy and lovely and I love it so much! We spent months making the house a home - hunting, moving, buying, painting. We are incredibly blessed to have such a beautiful home. 

We are blissfully married and it is our second month anniversary. I love being married to my favourite person and being able to see him every day. We just came back from our honeymoon 1.0 (we plan to have more!) and it was wonderful to be able to spend 9 full days with him. 

2014 was also the year when we were reminded on the brevity of life. Planes disappearing, being blown up, crashing. Initially, I was a bit worried as our flight was just two days after the plane disappeared, but I thought, there are many maaany things in life which are out of our control. Life is short and unpredictable, and we should be ready to meet God anytime, any day. "Are you living right should you die tonight? Is it well with your soul?" I'm not scared. 

As I look to 2015, I want to remind myself to always look towards the goal of going to heaven. I want to do more for the Sunday School. I want to study God's Word more diligently. And I hope that whatever plans I make, God is in the center. 

Have a blessed 2015!!! 

2014

This is The Year. The Year I've been waiting for. The Year I get married to My Favourite Person. 

My preparation? Wellllll, I'm kinda busy and neglected wedding plans a bit...... But, I've decided to take these ten months to read as much as I can to get myself prepared for married life. Over the years I've read a number of relationship books, not that my relationship is bad, but I read of people saying they wish they had read this book earlier and that would save a lot of heartache. So that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm learning from others' mistakes. 

Here are some of the books on my reading list.

I also downloaded some audiobooks, Your Brain on Love by Stan Tatkin and Happily Ever After by Gary Chapman. 

Other than that, I'm super busy at work and my goal is just to be able to maintain my energy level. Working with kids is super energy consuming so that means an earlier bed time. Haha. I'll try my best... At least I'm not taking evening classes any more. (First time in three years I'm getting weekday evenings off!! Super!) 

I'll also be moving to my new place soooo that would be another Big Task to do. 

2014 is gonna be a super year! 

A Jam Packed Year

This year has been very eventful. And so so jam packed that this is the first free Saturday I've had in ages.

Relationship
Got officially engaged, but am so so busy with work that haven't been planning much... But it's ok, there's still time.
Looking for a place to live. That has been a huge roller coaster ride. But finally found a place and now in the process of getting a loan for it. Yay!
Despite being busy, we still squeeze time for each other. Thanks, love.

Hobby
Bought a lot of craft stuff which are lying in the cupboard unused. This area of my life is neglected. Temporarily.
I rarely have the luxury of reading. I think I only read 10 books this year:
1. Bringing up bebe
2. Lone Wolf
3. Chicken Soup for Couples Soul
4. No 1 Ladies Detective Agency: The Good Husband of Zebra Drive
5. And the Mountains Echoed
6. I've Got Your Number
7. Bound to You

Audio Books (which I listen to while driving)
8. The Happiness Project
9. Happiness Hypothesis
10. You are not so Smart 
Plus a few unfinished Montessori books.
One more month till the end of the year. Hopefully I can read a little more!
Update: Read another 5 books the past week! 

11. Committed 

12. Chicken Soup: Here Vomes the Bride

13. 40 Love

14. Sing Me Home

15. Chicken Soup: Married Soul

Holidays and Road Trips
Trip to Penang for bf's friends wedding

Went to Boracay!! Super duper awesome! Many thanks to bf's happily married brother and sister-in-law.
Family trip to Taiping, a quiet and quaint little town. In other words, a bit boring lah. Haha.
Church trip to Penang and Cameron Highlands.
Year End trip to come: Desaru! YAY!

Looking forward to Year 2014!!!
The year I become Mrs Randall.

A New Discovery

I love books. Whether it is reading for knowledge or just reading to escape and enter into another world. Unfortunately, reading takes time, and it is a guilty pleasure to me, because I do not have the luxury of time (I'm awfully busy). I am afraid of picking up a new book because I know that once I do, I have a temporary obsession and I neglect sleep (which I really need) or other work.

So, how happy, how excited I was, when I discovered audio books!! I spend about two hours a day on the road, and now I can listen to books while I drive and driving is now a huge pleasure to me and I actually REALLY look forward to driving, and I'm even happy to get caught in jams (as long as I'm not late). Yeah, I know I'm weird, sometimes. OK, a lot of times.

Thankful :)

In lieu of celebrating thanksgiving in school (we are learning about USA this month),

I'm thankful to be a part of God's family. That I have great brothers and sisters.

I'm thankful that I have found the love of my life, and that I have the privilege of spending most of my being with him. He has shaped me to be what I am and he brings me much joy and happiness and a great future to look forward to.

I'm thankful for my wonderful family that support me in all I do.

I'm thankful that I have found my passion. Work that I love and enjoy. Work that fills me with love and teaches me kindness and patience.

I'm thankful for a wonderful workplace, where we share the same values. A workplace with wonderful colleagues, a workplace that helps me grow and makes me want to learn more.

I'm thankful for all physical blessings: a peaceful (enough) country where there's no war, a car that I can drive, a beautiful house, good food I can eat, my physical health.

I'm indeed blessed :)

Of Love

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

Louis de Bernières

Holiday

I have mixed feelings when it comes to breaks. On one hand, I'm glad I have time off to rest and catch up with other errands. On the other hand, when I rest I feel so so unproductive and this feeling sucks :(

Currently...

I am currently...

READING: Montessori, A Current Approach by Paula Polk Lillard
WISHING: that there is a good school with good pay which is near my house. Btw, in a nutshell, my definition of a good school is enough space and enough time for children to play and choose own activities.
LOVING: cheap and cute stickers and washi tape
DREAMING: of my house, my wedding, my next job

:)

Cooking!

I think it's the first time I'm cooking this year. Other than my cookie flop turned into muffin. Haha. I like cooking actually, but it's just so tiring. My parents are away so I finally convinced myself to cook.

Tried a new recipe, altered it and...success! S yummy, but wasn't enough for all of us. Had to eat cereal and instant noodles to fill up our stomachs haha.

Tada...my ham bacon mushroom spinach crustless quiche.

Dumb blond

I'm kinda dumb blond-ish sometimes. Just sometimes.

Case number 1
Driving out of Selangor, I realized, hey got so many mountains. So nice one. I asked Randall, eh why Klang got no mountains leh? He was like, duh, it's called Klang VALLEY. Haha.

Case number 2
I wanted to do lotus root stamping with the kids, and I rarely eat lotus root. I was looking around in the supermarket and went to the rooty veggies area. I saw the sign saying lotus root so I picked a couple. When I went home, then only I saw the label: SWEET POTATO. Opps hahaha.


Other than these instances, I'm actually quite smart. I think...

Why I Love Reading!

Choices

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Robert Frost

I am glad that when I asked my students (11-13 yrs old) to rate what they feel indicates success, most of them chose being happy and enjoying life at the top of their list, and placed making money at the bottom. Idealists? Yeah. Randall says they are young. They don't know yet. But I feel that they've got it right. Their young not-quite-adults-yet minds got it right. Well, as long as you have enough money that you can feel happy. 

From the beginning of my job, I've been contemplating quitting. Why? Because this job has turned me into a teacher I do not like, and I find my self thinking that if this is what being a kindergarten teacher is like, I don't want to be a kindergarten teacher anymore. I keep thinking of the opportunities that I did not take. Julia Gabriel, Waldorf, TweedleWink Playschool, Montessori... And I keep trying to convince myself to stay. For the sake of the children. And then another offer comes and it definitely would be better for me, but would it be selfish and irresponsible for me to quit? How much impact would my quitting be for my students? Will they find it easy to adjust to a new teacher? I don't know what to do now...

It's Official Now!!

It's not that he suddenly "popped the question"

We have been talking about it for a long looong time. I can't remember when we first talked about it. He proposed to me when we were out dating. In the car. At the park. After movies. Grabbing a bite after classes. At the pasar malam. While window shopping. It has never been about whether I will marry him or not. The answer has always been yes. It's just about when we will get married. :) I can't wait to start this new chapter of my life!!! He is the One I want to spend my life with. Grow old with. Wake up to. Come home to.